Dealing with grief in a pandemic by thinking of others

I didn't envision that my last months as a pastor for the "little church with a big mission" would be like this. Since our governor has issued a "Stay and Home" order to be in effect through June 10, the church will not be holding in-person worship in the building through at least that date. This means I can't be with the congregation in-person during Holy Week. I'm sad that I can't conduct a Maundy Thursday communion in person. I won't be conducting a sunrise service in the Memorial Garden on Easter morning, nor preparing an Easter brunch in the church lobby. (I had already begun thinking of recipes!) I'm grieving the loss of all these things. I know that the congregation is grieving, too, about the occasions that they are missing because of the corona virus--anniversaries, weddings, birthdays, graduations, end-of-school performances, and yes, baseball.

What I'm holding to, amid this grief, is a vision of the continuation of Church, as the body of Jesus Christ, caring for all its parts and relationships. 

The little Church has been known by its members and friends as the congregation who cares. The church has a big mission--to care for the world. So in keeping with that mission, the church has had to switch strategies.

My grandmother used to give us this very practical advice: the best way to set aside feeling sorry for yourself (i.e. grieving your loss) is to care about someone else. This is something we can do, and leave aside those things we can't do right now. Here's what everyone can do to show that you care:

1) Get out your church directories and make some calls. Even though we've started up with worship via "ZOOM" there are still folks we haven't seen. If you have been on the "Zoom" worship, think about who isn't there and make a phone call to see how they are doing. Just listen. Ask "what's it like for you in your place?"  "Who else have you heard from beside me?" "What prayer requests do you have that I can pray for, and what prayer requests can I pass along to the wider church?"

2) Take a hiatus from watching, listening, or reading the news, at least for some period of time. Just like after 9-11 when the video of the falling towers was being played and replayed over the media, unrelenting consumption of news media can feed into trauma.

3) Make daily quiet time a habit. You already may have a devotional time, prayer time, mindful meditation time as part of your daily schedule. This is a time to keep it up, or start it.

4) Make daily exercise, indoors or out, a habit too.

We will be a stronger church when this is past. God may be doing a new thing, and the Church is now and will be a partner in it.