Dealing with grief in a pandemic by thinking of others

I didn't envision that my last months as a pastor for the "little church with a big mission" would be like this. Since our governor has issued a "Stay and Home" order to be in effect through June 10, the church will not be holding in-person worship in the building through at least that date. This means I can't be with the congregation in-person during Holy Week. I'm sad that I can't conduct a Maundy Thursday communion in person. I won't be conducting a sunrise service in the Memorial Garden on Easter morning, nor preparing an Easter brunch in the church lobby. (I had already begun thinking of recipes!) I'm grieving the loss of all these things. I know that the congregation is grieving, too, about the occasions that they are missing because of the corona virus--anniversaries, weddings, birthdays, graduations, end-of-school performances, and yes, baseball.

What I'm holding to, amid this grief, is a vision of the continuation of Church, as the body of Jesus Christ, caring for all its parts and relationships. 

The little Church has been known by its members and friends as the congregation who cares. The church has a big mission--to care for the world. So in keeping with that mission, the church has had to switch strategies.

My grandmother used to give us this very practical advice: the best way to set aside feeling sorry for yourself (i.e. grieving your loss) is to care about someone else. This is something we can do, and leave aside those things we can't do right now. Here's what everyone can do to show that you care:

1) Get out your church directories and make some calls. Even though we've started up with worship via "ZOOM" there are still folks we haven't seen. If you have been on the "Zoom" worship, think about who isn't there and make a phone call to see how they are doing. Just listen. Ask "what's it like for you in your place?"  "Who else have you heard from beside me?" "What prayer requests do you have that I can pray for, and what prayer requests can I pass along to the wider church?"

2) Take a hiatus from watching, listening, or reading the news, at least for some period of time. Just like after 9-11 when the video of the falling towers was being played and replayed over the media, unrelenting consumption of news media can feed into trauma.

3) Make daily quiet time a habit. You already may have a devotional time, prayer time, mindful meditation time as part of your daily schedule. This is a time to keep it up, or start it.

4) Make daily exercise, indoors or out, a habit too.

We will be a stronger church when this is past. God may be doing a new thing, and the Church is now and will be a partner in it.

Being reminded of our fragility--What do we do with too much?

Zoom worship for our little church, Sunday March 22

Just weeks ago on Ash Wednesday we were signed with ashes and bidden to remember these words: Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

When we look back on this time from future, I’m sure one of the things we’ll remember is that this global pandemic happened during Lent/Easter, and embraced Passover and Ramadan, too. Every day brings reminders of how much we are dust. The wild swings of not only markets and pronouncements from government leaders, but also our emotions--moments of deep grief and moments of elation back to back, all while still trying to navigate the regular ebbs and flows of daily life. For many people regular life was difficult enough.

It all feels like too much.

And it is too much.

There’s little we can do against the forces of nature or political and cultural change. We can’t control the weather or the stock market. Our health is fragile and can be taken from us suddenly.

Regardless of what we might tell ourselves, we are always living in uncertain times. Some moments in history allow us to see that more clearly than others, but we are and always have been dust returning to dust.

The good news, of course, is that that we are still God’s people and so have a basis for hope that is beyond the wild swings that remind us of our fragility. Christians practice hope, not the fleeting kind of hope that comes from the news media or a soaring stock market or a scientific breakthrough, but the lasting hope that is only found in the cross of Jesus Christ. For, in the end, it is only here that we can find solidarity and solace in the midst of uncertainty.

During this season of Lent, as we are still on our journey toward the cross, let’s pray together that we are reminded both that we are dust and that our hope relies in and with Jesus and the cross.

Wash your hands and open your hearts.

Breath, Just for Today

Breath prayer for today:  Inhale with "Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit..."
Exhale with "Have mercy on us who need to breath."

Many of you know that I am one of the 100 or so volunteers with the National Response Team for Presbyterian Disaster Assistance. I have been deployed to many, many disaster situations over the past 15 years, both natural and man-made disasters—from fires and tornadoes, hurricanes to mass shootings and industrial accidents. In all of those situations, I always had the opportunity to know that I would eventually leave. Right now I feel like I am deployed to an emergency scenario that has no end. What I do know now is that there are protocols for spiritual care that we follow in such places, the most basic of which is “put your own oxygen mask on first.” We can’t be spiritual leaders without practicing for ourselves those very spiritually life-giving practices that connect us to God and to each other—regular prayer and meditation, worship, bible study, yoga, etc. So…
In order to feed my own spirit, I am reading the offerings of my colleagues around the country. I’m also following the advice of my colleague MAMD--looking to what I, uniquely, can offer in this time. I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of spiritual and theological words that this crisis has unleashed. It’s a tidal wave. I can’t digest it all. The time I spend reading it, limits the time I can think and write on my own. What I can do is recognize the good stuff from the bad. In other words, I’m a better curator than a creator of devotional writing—separating the healthy stuff from the unhealthy stuff for spiritual hygiene. So...

In these blogposts you will see a lot of borrowing and curating. 

In the meantime...breathe and pray. 

Virus Diaries March 23, 2020--"It is what it is."

Very good to see some of you yesterday on our first try at church via Zoom. It's a different experience.
It brought back to mind both grief and relief: grief at what we've lost, and relief that our friends and families in the church are well. Keep gathering when you can, and use those newly developing tools of electronic communication.
We'll do it again next Sunday. Watch this blog, and the church website for links to our Sunday meeting.



In the meantime, I've decided to concentrate on a couple of things:
1) keeping up and encouraging our congregation to think hyper local, that is to help us stay connected in real ways with our neighborhood and friends in North Arlington, both church and community. This means phone trees and email, snail mail and Zoom, with all those folks you already know.
For example: Shout out to our church member who held her virtual recital on line via Zoom, giving all her music students a chance to see and hear each other.


2) I've decided to use this space to curate a list from colleagues and friends in ministry that represent the best spiritual work I'm seeing. There are a lot of unhelpful words being said and published. So I'm concentrating on finding the best for the day. For today--

Colleague known to some of you Mary Ann McKibben Dana is working in her "BLUE ROOM" blog for how to maintain spiritual equilibrium when circumstances are throwing you off balance. She is particularly good at speaking to parents with children at home, since this is her own situation.

Some of you follow Richard Rohr, who's writing has gotten better with age. At his Center for Action and Contemplation, he offers encouragement for some of the best ancient and modern Christian practices.

Our former colleague in National Capital Presbytery Jan Edmiston is keeping up her blog at "A Church for Starving Artists"  She wrote yesterday about the grief in not being able to be present with a congregation.

You all are welcome to share your own tips for keeping your own spiritual self healthy. Comments below welcome.

Our Lent Table Practice

Friends and parishioners at Church of the Covenant:

I know I haven't posted anything since last Lent. 

Times being what they are, I'm driven to the written word again.

When we were last together as a congregation on Sunday March 1, I came to you without two good legs to stand on. A torn meniscus had taken away a pain-free way to stand, and so I preached from a stool while the talented elders led the rest of the liturgy. We had communion and began our observation of Lent for 2020. Our theme for Lent is “An open table.” We planned to have communion every week.  The second week of Lent, you were again invited to the Table and reminded of how truly big that table is. You heard about the ministry in South Sudan from Leisa Wagstaff and celebrated communion with the basket that she had sent us from South Sudan several years ago.

How different it all is now.

My inbox is flooded with advice and communications from everyone I’ve ever bought something from and a few I haven’t. There is too much COVID-19 advice. Right now the whole situation gives me an eerie feeling, like being deployed to a disaster area without the usual knowledge that I can go home sometime soon. My “spiritual care in disasters” habits are kicking in, but this time it’s to focus on my own backyard—Church of the Covenant.

And so we will, along with many other churches, we will attempt to gather with the aid of electronic communications. [See below for links to several other churches that are meeting online]

On Sunday morning we will attempt to gather around a table, but this time it will be a virtual table. We’re still trying to iron out the technological challenges of gathering in cyberspace. Some of us are more technologically challenged than other.

But we are still the Body of Christ, and so we will try to gather. Use this link https://zoom.us/j/743194520 [corrected from a prior email.] if you want to join online at 11am on Sunday, March 22. The link will change on subsequent Sundays.

Telephone works, too. +1 301 715 8592 US
The meeting ID is 743-194-520. You don't need a participant ID.

I’m going to prepare for Sunday by taking a Sabbath break from electronic communications on Saturday.

SERVICES FOR MARCH 22, 2020
National Presbyterian Church
Type: live stream on the NPC web site
Link to service: http://nationalpres.org/live
Date and time of service: Sundays at 11:00 a.m.
All recorded Live Stream Worship Services from NPC can be found at http://nationalpres.org/sermons

Georgetown Presbyterian Church, Washington, DC
Type: Facebook
Link to service: facebook.com/gtownpres
Date and time of service: March 22, 2020, 11:00 a.m.

Old Presbyterian Meeting House, Alexandria, VA
Type: YouTube recorded worship on website
Link: www.opmh.org
Date available: Sundays starting at 7am

Heritage Presbyterian Church, Alexandria, VA
Link: www.heritagechurchva.org/
(click on YouTube button at the top of the page)

Neighbors in Arlington with Virtual Gatherings

St Andrews Episcopal
  ZOOM meeting through website: https://standrewsarlington.org/