biblical illiteracy Day 22 of 90--"thus far, the Lord has helped us..."

"Here I raise my 'Ebenezer' ..."

A long time ago, someone told me that they didn't like singing the old hymn with the above line, because nobody really knew what it meant.  I like the hymn because it was one of my grandfather's favorites.  He could pound out a rudimentary accompaniment on the piano, and sing it with gusto.

Those of you who are following the Bible in 90 Days, you know what it means now, don't you?  [See 1 Samuel 7:12]  If you're on schedule, you read this yesterday.  Do you feel like you're pushing back the darkness of ignorance, just a little?  Yea!

Here are some biblical misconceptions, which you can now laugh at:

• Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
•  Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
•  The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
•  Samson slayed the Philistines with the Axe of the Apostles.
•  The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.
•  The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
•  The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
•  The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
•  David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.